||[Apr. 4th, 2005|05:03 pm]
Lost tiddas and brodders, mammas and pappas.
i know that this community hasnt been that active...but my heart is breaking. |
my real dad was a drug dealer and my mom and him were only 15 when she was pregnant with me. my mom came home and there was no food only a brick of weed in the fridge. i was only an infant. they argued and he beat her severly. she left him and moved in with grandma and grandpa. she married my stepdad and had my sister. one day i was playing with my sister and my mom called me in to the kitchen. she told me everything. i was 7 or 8. my heart broke. my sisters dad adopted me. he drove across the us and found my real dad and made him sign the papers. when i was 12 he came around and talked to my mom at her gas station. he wanted to see me. my mom said no. how could she say no?like i have no say in it. i understand that she wanted to protect me. all of my life i have felt like my moms mistake. it dosent help that my dad was hispanic and my mom is white. my stepdad always talked about beaners and says shit like that and it hurts. now that i am 22 i am burning to find out and see for myself. a few months ago my mom really hurt me bad when she and my stepdad bought a house NEXT TO MY REAL DADS FAMILY BUSISNESS. so not i have to see and hurt about it everytime i go over there. any advice?